Lead your life by choice with me as your Coach. Ask Me Anything!

jabamenon
Jul 11, 2018

I am an involved mother of a daughter, business leader, an Intelligent Leadership Coach, Life Coach, a Mentor, International Speaker with 30 years of experience in multiple sectors. I have touched rock bottom in every role- as a student, as a mother, as a professional but now here I am, ready to share my life's experiences of how I demonstrated – “If you fall down seven times, get up an eighth”. 

My passion for forming genuine human connections across many continents – Asia, Europe, Africa, North America, led me to offer to coach after having contributed significantly to transforming 1.2 million countries in 21 countries. I love to engage with people who empower themselves and the world around them and aim to lead a life by choice. www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6421923995859419136

More about me at www.jabamenon.coach

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How much should a leader consider other people's opinions when it comes to their leadership style? How do they find the balance betweeen arrogance and self-doubt?
Jul 16, 8:44AM EDT0

Every leader should play to their strengths while adopting their unique leadership style. However, having the ability to listen to other's views with an open mind is imperative for two reasons - A. To stay mindful of our derailers so that at every point we are able to deal with it and not get derailed as a leader B. Focus on overcoming our indisputable weaknesses which is coming in the way of our own success with external support, if necessary, so that the leaders stay duly supported in that journey.

 

They can find a balance between arrogance and self doubt by A. Trusting the world around them and believing that everyone is inherently "good" and not everyone is out to get them - Being secured as a leader hugely helps B. Having the wisdom to discern C. Having the courage to be authentic and be vulnerable

Jul 16, 11:32AM EDT0
What would you say was the failure that affected your life the most and how did you end up overcoming it?
Jul 15, 5:40PM EDT0

My first child or my daughter was born after my husband or rather my soulmate passed away in less than 10 seconds due to a massive cardiac failure,  a little more than 21 years ago.  Although I was able to secure a financially comfortable home for my daughter, I transmitted immense nagativity and extreme restlesness as a "failed mother" for nearly a decade. Wearing the hat of a failed mother was the most difficult experience in my life. I overcame the same through an intense process of cultivating intense self awareness and taking 100% responsibility of aberrations in her behaviour instead of passing on the buck to her. I worked very hard on the process of  my self change through seeking Mentoring, Counseling, Coaching and sure enough, when I changed as a mother, my daughter blossomed in the in the very same circumstances. When we change our inner core and resultant response to the environment consciously and consistently, our outer core or every one/ everything in the external environment is bound to change.  

Jul 16, 7:56AM EDT0

My first child or my daughter was born after my husband or rather my soulmate passed away in less than 10 seconds due to a massive cardiac failure,  a little more than 21 years ago.  Although I was able to secure a financially comfortable home for my daughter, I transmitted immense nagativity and extreme restlesness as a "failed mother" for nearly a decade. Wearing the hat of a failed mother was the most difficult experience in my life. I overcame the same through an intense process of cultivating self awareness and taking 100% responsibility of aberrations in her behaviour instead of passing on the buck to her. I worked very hard on the process of  my self change through seeking Mentoring, Counseling, Coaching and sure enough, when I changed as a mother, my daughter blossomed in the in the very same circumstances. When we change our inner core and resultant response to the environment consciously and consistently, our outer core or every one/ everything in the external environment is bound to change.  

 

Jul 16, 1:05PM EDT0
Have you ever deviated from a prepared topic or theme during a speech due to the unresponsiveness of your audience, if so, what was the topic and did you salvage the speech by deviating or did you make it worse?
Jul 15, 2:41PM EDT0
How do you ensure that the speeches you deliver are not canned or routine performances?
Jul 15, 12:18AM EDT0
How would you define your phrase, Lead Your Life By Choice, what is its personal significance to you and how realistic is it to completely choose every aspect of one's professional life?
Jul 14, 9:52PM EDT0

Leading our life by Choice means shedding the "shoulds", "must dos" "the feeling of being trapped" and "living on an auto pilot mode". I am a sucker for space, strive to live with self awareness and treasure holding most crucial conversations with anyone on an equal footing with  mutual respect. I find it difficult to accept hieararchy as an adult. I thrive  in "Ok- Ok" conversations, going by the TA (Transaction Analysis) model .

I beieve that we do choose every aspect of our professional life but we exercise conflicting choices at times which can create discomfort eg my choice of working long hours sometimes my conflict with my value of my family coming first but i choose to do it at times for a good reason. Difficult but it is still my choice to do so.

Jul 16, 8:06AM EDT0

Leading our life by Choice means shedding the "shoulds", "must dos" "the feeling of being trapped" and "living on an auto pilot mode". I am a sucker for space, strive to live with self awareness and treasure holding most crucial conversations with anyone on an equal footing with mutual respect. I find it difficult to accept hieararchy as an adult. I thrive in "Ok- Ok" conversations, going by the TA (Transaction Analysis) model .

 

I beieve that we do choose every aspect of our professional life but we exercise conflicting choices at times which can create discomfort eg my choice of working long hours sometimes my conflict with my value of my family coming first but i choose to do it at times for a good reason. Difficult but it is still my choice to do so.

Jul 16, 1:07PM EDT0
What is your preparation process for professional speaking engagements?
Jul 14, 6:16PM EDT0

It is a  4 step process really - A. Conducting online research and structure existing knowledge B.  Deciding on a theme or a title of the speech C. Like a lawyer, support the theme with relevant content/ points D. Timing and practising delivery with impactful tools - need not necessarily be a power point presentation   

Jul 16, 12:42PM EDT0
How do you use your coaching methods as an effective tool for both individuals and organizations to tackle transition or disruption?
Jul 11, 5:37AM EDT0

Every transition demands a certain degree of change, be it on the part of the individual or an organisation.  The old self in a new world will not work. I use a sound proven Coaching process - 4Cs (Contracting, Conducting Diagnostics, Crafting a plan, Calibrating ROI) which supports and challenges the client/ organisation just enough to create the new self appropriate for the new world post transitions. Unsupported this change can be tedious and  stressful and hence the derailers may consume the individual and the organisation without their being aware of it.

Jul 16, 12:34PM EDT0

Every transition demands a certain degree of change, be it on the part of the individual or an organisation.  The old self in a new world will not work. I use a sound proven Coaching process - 4Cs (Contracting, Conducting Diagnostics, Crafting a plan, Calibrating ROI) which supports and challenges the client/ organisation just enough to create the new self appropriate for the new world post transitions. Unsupported this change can be tedious and  stressful and hence the derailers may consume the individual and the organisation without their being aware of it.

Jul 16, 1:04PM EDT0

Which choice would you say is better, following your dreams for your whole life or picking a job that pays high to sustain your living first, and then pursuing your dreams? What are the reasons for your answer?

Jul 10, 8:15PM EDT0

I would suggest the latter since dreams cant be pursued on empty stomach and that too for a  long priod of time. Therefore, for dreams to convert into reality, we need to free up abundant energy which may otherwise get consumed in meeting mere physiological needs, as a result of not having a well paid job. 

Jul 13, 1:09PM EDT0
Where do you see the future of leadership coaching? Do you feel more and more millennials would turn to coaching in future?
Jul 10, 5:22PM EDT0

I see Leadership coaching taking centre stage since we cannot escape the realities of the VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Uncertain) world. Millennials are far more focused about what they want and are more confident about reaching out to take external support to meet their goal. And they are likely to be far more aware about what Coaching is, how it can help them reach their goal by design and faster. Like having a personal fitness trainer, having a “Coach” will sound “cool” to that generation. So there will be rational and emotional reasons for the millennials to turn to Coaching.

Jul 13, 12:59PM EDT0
What are some of the Transaction Analysis and Intelligent Leadership (IL) concepts you utilize in your coaching approach?
Jul 10, 12:32PM EDT0

I use TA concepts like Life position, Script, Drama Triangle very often. I also find the concepts of Inner Core strengths and Outer core Competencies, part of Intelligent Leadership approach, very relevant and useful for all my clients. Irrespective of the profile of the client, these concepts are highly relatable and easy to comprehend.

Jul 13, 1:21PM EDT0
What advice would you give someone going into a leadership position for the first time to lead his or her life by their choices?
Jul 10, 11:56AM EDT0

Stay focused on your growth – the team grows as much as a leader grows. Master the art of consciously leading yourself (self change) along with leading your team. And if you continuously expand your capacity to choose right in how you lead yourself, will you be more successful, happy and continue to live by choice. And living by choice, by no means, is to be confused with living with ease or having a comfortable, easy -going life. It needs relentless effort to tap into our strengths and grow bit by bit everyday in a highly dynamic world throughout our life as long as we remain a leader. That is one thing which remains constant throughout our leadership journey.

Jul 13, 12:28PM EDT0
What are the ethics of the International Coach Federation (ICF) to which you abide?
Jul 10, 10:47AM EDT0

coachfederation.org/code-of-ethics Broadly, I would adhere to  all  parts/ sections as a member of ICF.

Jul 12, 1:16PM EDT0
What kind of work do you do when connecting with people in Africa?
Jul 10, 5:18AM EDT0

My connect with Africa so far has been in three areas:

 

In early 2000, I played a minor role in reaching grassroots voices to the policy makers using Internet. In the recent years, I contributed as a Management Board member of Centum Learning in transforming lives of youth by offering employability skills in many countries of Africa. And most recently, I am engaged with colleagues or peers in Africa in the Coaching/ mentoring domain. 

Jul 12, 1:08PM EDT0

What are some of the books you would recommend to people in their late 20s to understand the value of being focused and living by choice?

Jul 10, 4:43AM EDT0
What is that one behaviour or trait that you have seen derail more leaders’ careers?
Jul 10, 2:27AM EDT0

The one behaviour that I have personally experienced is their arrogance or lack of vulnerability, which is a prerequisite to change or constantly evolve in a dynamic world. We can't grow enough by growing in years ie by adding to chronological age. We need to make a conscious effort to grow in ears - our ability to deeply listen, examine the feedback we receive from the world around us, act on what resonates with our true self. We need to remind ourselves that leaders exist to serve others and not themselves hence people and their relationship with them, the value we create for them, matters.

Jul 12, 12:56PM EDT0
What are your clients usually looking for when they seek out your coaching?
Jul 10, 2:12AM EDT0

The Clients are looking at moving from Point A -  Where they currently are to  Point B - where they want to be, when they seek Coaching from me. They are looking at heightening their self awareness, igniting or strengthening  their inner power house, so that they can convert that into a conscious power to lead life by choice. They are looking for moving forward in their professional life or personal life or both, as is true in most cases. My coaching tools emanate from my personal, professional and spiritual life and hence my clients benefit from a wide range of tools that I can offer to partner them in their professional or personal life. And I follow a very sound process inspired by John Mattone's Intelligent Leadership Coaching process.

Jul 12, 12:27PM EDT0

Generally speaking, when it comes to coaching, how can someone know the right kind of coach for them?

Jul 10, 1:08AM EDT0

Since you are looking for a Coach and not a Mentor or a Consultant, therefore what is most important is the "Chemistry" between the Coach and the Coachee. The trust and the resultant rapport between two equal partners - the Coach and the Coachee to work together in the spirit of partnership to achieve a desired goal,  is the key. Therefore if the chemistry is working and the Coach has a sound process and tools to deliver coaching, it should work seamlessly.  

Jul 12, 11:12AM EDT0
You mentioned being an international speaker. What are the usual topics you talk about with your audience? What kind of organizations usually invite you to speak to them?
Jul 9, 7:15PM EDT0

I  speak on A. Democratization of Communication B. Maximising potential of  every human esp women and youth C. Balancing human dignity and profitability in business D. Demystifying Coaching and Mentoring to lead Life by Choice

I am listing some of the events where I have spoken. That would give a fair idea on the topis and the kind of organisations that have hosted the event

  • Pre Workshop on Humanistic Management -United Nations Business and Human Rights Forum, Geneva, Switzerland
  • Symposium on “Best Practices in Humanitarian Information Exchange”, hosted by UN office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Exchange, Geneva, Switzerland.
  • “International Experiences in Sustaining Democracy”, a PILDAT conference, Islamabad, Pakistan.
  • “Internet and Solidarity: Development and Social Exclusion in the Net”, Barcelona, Spain.
  • Nominated as one of the two representatives for Asian Civil Society, to the Draft Declaration Committee at the Asia Pacific Regional Conference on WSIS (World Summit on the Information Society) held in Japan.
  • “Challenges that women face at the work place”, Women’s Circle, New Delhi, India.
  • 37th PGDM Batch Commencement, Institute of Management Technology, Ghaziabad, India.
Jul 12, 10:50AM EDT0
What is the difference between incremental success and massive success? Which one is better and why?
Jul 9, 7:09PM EDT0

As the word indicates incremental success would be a small movement forward, bring about a less noticeable, positive change in small doses whereas massive success would mean monumental success - a sustained, highly visible change from within or our inner core , which is likely to spill over to the outer core and manifest itself in obvious, apparent ways and sustain itself. And the definition of success, if we were to refer to wheel of life, is likely to change from time to time for each one of us. And it is for each individual to decide which one is better depending on what he / she is looking for and ready to embrace at any point of time in life. If massive success hits us when we are not ready for it, we may not be able to sustain it and vice versa is also true.  Therefore, there is no one answer for "which one is better". The point to note is that we may need support like Coaching if and when we are aiming for massive success so that we can achieve it in a satisfactory manner and also sustain it.

Jul 12, 10:28AM EDT0
What are the core principles of your coaching? Would it work for anyone?
Jul 9, 2:40PM EDT0

My core principles of Coaching would revolve around what has been defined by ICF - International Coach Federation www.coachfederation.org . It rests on the premise that all individuals, who are fully equipped to take their own decisions in the present moment, are committed to take charge of their own life in order to move forward and lead a life by choice, can take advantage of Coaching. Coaching will not work for those who need therapeutic healing or are only seeking advice from someone else.

Jul 12, 10:13AM EDT0
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